Roland Kelly

Name: Roland Thomas Kelly Gender: Male Age: 14 yr 2 mo Grade: Freshman School: P.J. Gilroy Academy Homeroom: Mr. Hallam Hobbies and Interests: Roland is a ranking member of the Young Republicans and is quite involved in the political process of things. Despite he and his father having contrasting ideologies, he has actually helped set up election day setups out of his neighbor's garage whenever they volunteer. He is also a member of Gilroy's soccer team.

Appearance: Roland looks like your typical preppie WASP, especially at school. Neatly brushed light-brown hair, deep blue eyes, some freckles here and there mixed in with the usual sparse acne. He has a slightly more-imposing-than-average figure, which helps make his presence on the soccer team seem slightly more threatening than normal, though it certainly isn't the only thing helping the Gilroyals win any championships this year. Although his uniform conceals it, he is also reasonably hairy, but not enough that people would think of him as a caveman.

His uniform, as expected from someone with his status in society, is prim and proper, though it does have its fair share of crinkles and creases which he claims is the mark of a good All-American work ethic.

Puberty has, however, NOT treated his voice well, and it often breaks during his speech, often reducing him to grumbling most of the time. One can find traces of a Noreaster accent in his voice.

Biography: Roland is the son of New Jersey State Senator Ian Kelly (D-NJ). Ian's wife is housewife and part-time campaign secretary Roberta Kelly. And as the son of a respectable politician (despite his relatively low position), Roland has had access to some of the finer schools in the country, public AND private. Of course, Ian didn't object when Roland decided to attend Gilroy Academy, sometimes joking that his son would turn out like the classic university liberal type. Roland's grades are not the highest but he definitely takes pride in that they are quite honest and have yet to require strings being pulled to change.

But what makes the Kelly family so interesting is that they are the antithesis of the famous conservative-father-begets-liberal-son-family archetype. Indeed, as a Democrat it is Ian Kelly's responsibility to respect any ideology that does not actively promote hate or harm toward other decent human beings. Which would explain why he seems to have no problem with Roland being conservative. Roland, in turn, respects his father, if only to keep his sparkling example of a family institution intact.

Roland personally does not take very kindly - at least mentally - to the politically liberal sort. He doesn't approve of same-sex relationships or abortion unless absolutely necessary. He is also a fierce opponent of gun control and despite not owning a gun himself has been to the gun range numerous times, as well as owning a good amount of gun memorabilia and books on their mechanics. The list goes on, but will not be discussed here for relevance purposes.

Most notably, he hates terrorists (Muslim, Neo-Fascist, etc.) with a passion. This seems to be the only issue that he and his father can definitely agree on, though how best to deal with them ironically make up one of their biggest ideological differences. Both Roland and his father have also been very vocal opponents of the first "season" of SOTF, as described by the media. Of course, Kelly doesn't have any intentions on joining any branch of the Armed Forces unless there's a draft, in which case he'd (begrudgingly) follow the rule.

Other than that, Rowland seems to be easy to get along with, although despite not being outwardly prejudiced he seems to get along best with other whites (though this may be due to the lack of minorities in the schools he has attended.) And like most rich WASPs, he also looks down on the lower class. He will certainly fight for what he believes in, but what extent that will be taken is in doubt as he has essentially lived in good ol' American surburbia with many sojourns to urbia for most of his life.

He is the least respected member of the Valenti Syndicate, sometimes even being the brunt of insults himself, most of which involve permutations of his name (be it given or surname first.). He doesn't exactly respect the objectifying lyrics of said name's associative genres, but then again he tries not to be racist about it. He also does not earn much respect in that he always seems to stand in the background when they pick on you-know-who. The fact that he is one of the few members with significant political connections remains the only reason that he's in the gang in the first place. Of course, his status hasn't improved as of recently, as he had to recently be hospitalized for nearly having his throat slashed by a vicious female student in a recent confrontation. The fact that he didn't exactly take the pain "like a man should" didn't help in the slightest either. His only solace seemed to be the fact that he outranked Marvin Hendrick in the Junior Republicans club on campus.

Nevertheless, Roland holds a begrudging respect for his superiors, hoping that their own connections will help fill his ticket to better things. Like the governorship. Or even Congress.

But it has been out of the disrespect toward him that he had "politely" declined Franco Sebberts' invitation to a recent function. He has also privately expressed a degree of sympathy toward the function's main "beneficiary" and had arranged to send material condolences upon hearing the news. These condolences were however, quickly rejected by their receiver.

Advantages: Like Zed Foreman, he is well-versed in the workings of most light firearms and could probably adapt well to heavier ones (though maybe not in the case of BFGs like the m249). UNlike Zed, while no pro marksman he still makes a formidable shot when properly equipped. His resentment for a lot of different kinds of people, particularly the upper echelon members of the Valenti Syndicate, could be his driving force though it might also make him of enemies.

Disadvantages: That gash on his neck (suffered from the pre-game encounter with Kristey Burrowell) hasn't quite healed up, making him severely vulnerable in the area. He is far from adaptable when it comes to wielding a melee weapon, let alone working it. And speaking of adaptable, being raised in a rather secure urban/sub-urban environment will definitely play into the trauma of being loosed in something quite the opposite.

Number: Male Student no. 57

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Designated Weapon: Staff Conclusions: Politics won't help him here on the island, unless he can talk himself out of a bullet to the head. They're supposed to be good liars and all that. Perhaps he'll get to return the favor to G46...in a more permanent fashion.

'The above biography is as written by LaZardo. No edits or alterations to the author's original work have been made.'

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Other/Trivia
Roland's first and last name were taken from a list of realistic names that his handler recorded from the "senders" of junk mail in one of his e-mail accounts. The handler later realized that the name was a double entendre of sorts, because it could be taken to mean both Kelly Rowland of Destiny's Child, and R. Kelly, resulting in Roland's very racially-charged opening exclamation. The handler later added Thomas as a sort of middle name with a "ring," just to make the humor effect more subtle.

Threads
''The various threads that contained Roland. In order from first to finish.''
 * The Sands of Time
 * Station of the Cross
 * Sacrilege
 * Dr. Dan the Medicine Man

Your Thoughts
''Whether you were a fellow handler in SOTF or just an avid reader of the site, we'd like to know what you thought about Roland Kelly. What did you like, or dislike, about the character? Let us know here!''