Joseph Cande

Name: Joseph(Joe) Cande

Gender: Male

Age: 18

Grade: 12th

School: Southridge High School

Hobbies and Interests: Track and field, sword fighting, ninjas

Appearance: White in between tan and pale, 5'8, 130 lbs, lean build. He has very short brown hair, no facial hair(His inability to achieve any really pisses him off), green eyes, and typically wears a black long-sleeved t-shirt and black pants that fit him reasonably tight, as well as black shoes. He brought a ninja hood with him.

Biography: Joe comes from a middle-class family. His father is a mechanic who spends most of his time working, his mom works as a secretary and tends to be busy all the time, so Joe doesn't connect much with either. His parents tend to leave him to his own devices, but they still try to stay involved.(You know how you can tell parents have given up on trying to control their kid but they don't want other people to think they're bad parents so they still try anyway? It's like that. If you can understand it. >_>) He often finds himself watching(Mainly he makes sure the drain-o is out of reach, but still) his baby sister, who is almost 1. They've had the occasional money problem, but nothing too serious. Joe's kind of dim, and as a result his grades are nothing special. His parents often give him lectures and such, trying to get him to focus more to do better in school, to little effect. He typically gets Cs, a trend that's been consistent since the wee days of grade school.

Another trend that's stayed with him since then - an obsession with ninjas. It's his most prominent trait; he's typically talking about ninjas, or reading ninja books, or doodling ninjas doing ninja things(Like riding killer robot dinosaurs and throwing atomic bombs at whatever is annoying Joe currently). He almost always carries with him some kind of book on ninja training, and takes it seriously even though it's mainly a joke book. This leads to several bad decisions. He also attempts to utilize his ninja skills(unsuccessfully) frequently. He participates in track and field(running fast is very ninja-like), and has bought/rented several instructional videos/books/etc. on sword fighting.

Joe is quite energetic, has difficulty being serious serious, and is almost eternally restless. This tends to get on people's nerves, and as a result he doesn't have too many actual friends, although he's generally nice enough that people will tolerate him. He tends to make over-exaggerated hand motions while he talks. He's not particularly charismatic, but is quite friendly and a little overly trusting. He's also quite courageous.

Joe has no idea what he wants to do with his future. He’s given it less then no thought. Whenever the topic comes up he just says he never plans for anything and changes the subject.

He tends to be friends with the other members of the track team, in a combination of how he's rather good at the sport and in that the other members have spent enough time around him to adjust to his zany antics. It's not a universal rule though(In case someone's on said team and is way antisocial or something). He tends to be unpopular with the bully crowd. Other then these groups, he's mostly neutral with everyone; often met with an eye roll or a sigh however, which Joe stays completely oblivious of.

Advantages: After spending his whole life googling, reading, and practicing ninja sneaking, Joe's picked up a few tricks to stealth. Being on track and field makes him a fast runner. After learning quite a bit about swords, he's not bad with one(Although he'd still likely get his ass kicked).

Disadvantages: Despite the research, Joe still really sucks at being sneaky. Consulting a joke book is a poor solution to most, if not all, problems. The line between courage and stupidity is blurry to the point of being invisible in Joe's mind. Joe dislikes guns, as they are not very ninja-y, and wouldn't use a gun if given one. Joe has too much faith in his "ninja abilities" and may try to do something completely retarded in response to a threat. Actually, he’ll probably do something stupid in response to anything, really.

Designated Number: Male Student no. 102

'The above biography is as written by Heatwizard. No edits or alterations to the author's original work have been made.'

==

Designated Weapon: Replica of the Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII

Conclusions: Well, B102, I don't know what to tell you. I think you would've been better off if we'd given you some nunchuks or kunai or something. I don't think you're going to fare very well with a replica from one of my favorite games of all time... oooh, but it's so cool, though!

Game Evaluations
Kills: None

Killed by: J. R. Rizzolo

Collected Weapons: Replica of the Buster Sword from Final Fantasy VII (issued weapon)

Allies: Neil Sinclair, Warren Pace, James Ellet 

Enemies: Raven Lawrence 

Mid-Game Evaluation: Joe first appeared in the lagoon, though he had apparently been wandering the island for some time beforehand. He met up with Raven Lawrence and attempted to deal with him in various ways: intimidation, attacking, and begging for his life. When Raven was distracted by the announcements, Joe tackled him. In the ensuing fight, Joe was stabbed in the arm with a fork.

Joe fled Raven and ended up near the church. He saw a group of students, including SADD, and asked them for help with his wound, then fell unconscious. The group carried Joe inside, and attempted to help him, but he did not regain consciousness. When J.R. Rizzolo attacked the group, one of his shots ricocheted and hit Joe in the neck, killing him.

Post-Game Evaluation: What a worthless contender. He had to reference a book mid-fight for help on a move, and still screwed it up. In the end, he was laid low by a single stab from a fork. Fortunately, Rizzolo came along and accidentally put the ninja-wannabe out of his misery.

Memorable Quotes: "HI. DOES ANYONE THERE...uh...KNOW...HOW TO...MEDICINE? BECAUSE THERE WAS THIS GUY AND HE HAD A FORK AND HE STABBED ME AND MY BANDAGES AREN'T STICKY AND NOW THE WORLD IS SPINNING." -Joe, before collapsing

Other/Trivia
Coming soon...

Threads
Below is a list of threads that contain Joe, in chronological order.

Pre-Game:

V3:
 * Playing Macgyver
 * The Science of Selling Yourself

Your Thoughts
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